Be Thou My (True) Vision

Last weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to go to mass with some of you.  It was already an amazing experience because I got to share it with some of the coolest people on the planet, but then...then I had a moment.  We are kneeling in the gorgeous church in Waunakee, praising GOD (which is mind blowing enough), when all of a sudden I hear the first few notes of Be Thou My Vision come tinkling out of the piano.  My jaw dropped.  I admit it.  I mean, how perfect?  I got this tingly feeling all over as I remembered how it felt to sing this song in St. Francis chapel with all of you sitting beside me. 

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

I looked around, and I know I saw this incredulous look on several of your faces.  Thanks for sharing in that awesome moment with me.

While looking at college campus ministry websites this week, I stumbled upon this article.
More Teens Becoming "Fake" Christians
When I read this, all of you came to mind.  I mean, I know my faith isn't fake.  The article talks about teens who choose God because it makes them feel good about themselves, but not because they truly have faith.  Yes, the love God shows us can feel SO good.  Why shouldn't we be grateful and receive it?

However, there are sometimes when the fact that God never stops loving us really hurts.  Like when we hurt him by turning away, ignoring, not listening, not looking, not seeing, not acting, and not loving.  I know those times.  They suck, because all you can think about is how alone you are, and how no one loves you.  But in the back of your mind, and in the deepest part of your heart, you know that God loves you, even though you've done everything you can to hurt him.

It's getting through those times that really test your faith.  It is loving God through the good and the bad, not only embracing him and the church when times good, but looking to Him for guidance and trusting in Him when it looks like nothing could ever be right again.

I know we've all been through a lot of crap.  And so, I know that none of you fit under the "fake christian" category either.  We are all saying "Be thou MY vision, o Lord of MY heart"  Not yours.  Or theirs.  Or his.  or hers.  MY.   He is my best thought, when I'm ridiculously happy, and when I feel so incredibly sad and alone.  His presence is my light.  Its like...daylight.  When the sun is shining, the true colors of the world are out in the open for everyone to see.  Its not like a dim fluorescent bulb that makes everyone look sickly.  So, to wrap things up, I just want to say that I'm so excited for all of us: that we've found something so real in all of our lives.

(Seriously.  I need to come up with some cool way to sign my name, so I don't forget and Taylor doesn't have to remind me.  Suggestions?)

Alanna!