My life is usually so boring. My nights often consist of doing homework, stressing over college, or talking to Alanna while I should be doing one of the aforementioned activities. Recently, however, it has been full of completely terrifying yet completely wonderful events that I'll probably never forget. They basically all center around two main things: Jenna Keller and RCIA. Now, I realize that it's going to be a complete ego boost for Jenna that half of my post is about her, but I figure she's worth it. I've kind of grown to like her. And, since Bill has made me realize the joys of chronological and numerical formatting through his most recent posts, I have decided that I will follow suit.
Super Awesome and Life-Changing Location #1: Starbucks on State Street
For those of you who haven't been there, the Starbucks on State Street is wonderful. Instead of having the normal setup with handfuls of tables and chairs scattered about (and two comfortable chairs slightly angled at each other), this Starbucks has an upstairs that is much larger than its downstairs, and it is wonderful. It has comfortable chairs, couches, tables, and even a white-board that people write strange poems on. Since Jenna Keller is a wonderful human being, she introduced me to this wonderland, and we have met up on occasion to talk faith and life and all things awesome. It's not often a good idea, though, since Jenna has a lot to do and I'm just so awesome that she can't concentrate on her work while I'm around. I try to stay out of the way and help her as much as possible, but it doesn't always work out.
Well, one night I received an excited and hurried phone call from Jenna saying that she had a wonderful idea: that Sunday, a few days after her phone call, was a confirmation mini-retreat for her kids in Waunakee, and she wanted me to teach a class on the rosary. You know, the one who's not even Catholic yet. The one who just learned how beautiful and wonderful the Church is this summer. The one whose knowledge only spreads as far as her friends, a few books, and a few blog posts that she has been obsessively following. But hey, what did I have to lose? I mean, the worst that could happen is that I wouldn't go visit Jenna at St. John's ever again out of shame. And plus, I'd be doing it for Jesus. So of course I agreed.
The next day (after seeing Alanna AND MC in the same day!) I met up with Jenna at Starbucks. Like always, I was distracting and caused her to get very little work done. The problem this time, however, was that I was the one that needed help. After reading a few things and stealing yet another one of Jenna's books, I decided it was time to put it off until later and enjoy my time with our lovely supervisor. I won't tell the entire story, because it was long and slightly embarrassing, but I finally asked Jenna to be my sponsor. I had been planning it forever, but I thought at first that I should wait until class started, then I was afraid it would just add more stress to her life, but it all worked out in the end. I didn't prepare for the mini-retreat at all until Saturday night, but I got my sponsor, and that was all that mattered.
Sunday night rolled around, and I was beyond nervous. Jenna wasn't going to be with me, and it is totally out of my element to just speak to 40 people at a time about Catholic traditions (obvi), so if I hadn't kept reminding myself that I was doing it for Jesus, I probably would have chickened out. There were three groups of 40 that rotated stations. I had 30 minutes to talk about something that I had just really learned three months prior to the session. It was terrifying. I am such an awkward person, as you know, and sitting alone at the beginning didn't help. It also didn't help that I messed up saying the rosary. The way it worked was that I would talk about how the rosary came to be, why we say it, what it means, etc. for about 10 minutes, then we would pray the rosary together for the remainder of the time. The explanation went fine all three times, but I messed up saying the rosary... twice. Once I completely forgot the Our Father, and another time I randomly added in the Our Father at the end of one of the decades. Basically, I stink, and I don't know why. I always say the rosary, and I say it right. I could recite the Hail Mary to a bunch of campers this summer, but I couldn't do this simple task. I was bummed, but I got over it. I did pretty well in the end, and if none of their parents/sponsors were willing to teach this, then they would have to accept my mediocre job. It did strengthen my faith life, though, and it really made me realize that even though this was awful and terrifying, Jesus appreciated it, and that's all that should really matter.
I've bene finding recently that I can relate my absolute favorite St. Josemaria Escriva quote to just about every problem I have in life. "Why stoop to drink from the puddles of worldy consolations when you can satisfy your thirst with waters that spring up into life everlasting?" I guess in this case, it didn't really matter that I was completely overcome with fear because, in the end, I was honoring the Blessed Mother. I was leading prayer that she interceded in. Now, I don't know about y'all, but that's just about the coolest realization I've had all month.
Super Awesome and Life-Changing Location #2: St Paul's University Catholic Center
After months of waiting and many masses attended, RCIA has finally begun. Despite the should-be-apparent awesomeness, I was a wreck on Sunday afternoon. I think I was talking to Michelle and Alanna, though I could be wrong, and they helped. Again, though, it's totally out of my element. If I had had just ONE person there with me that I knew (Danny...), I would have been fine. Instead, though, I was alone. In a group specifically targeted for adults, I would forever be looked upon as the one who couldn't vote or buy cigarettes. Almost grudgingly, I left for Mass, dreading the class that would follow.
Sometimes, I feel like God is giving me a giant slap in the back of the head. Mass was wonderful, like mass always is. I don't know why I possibly forget that. It makes everything better--stress disappears and I become calm again (and I don't even receive the Eucharist yet! I can't even imagine how perfect it will all feel once that time comes). I seriously wish I lived on campus, because I would go to daily mass. I've lived my whole life without knowing this perfect feeling, and now I can't get enough. The downside, however, is that I am still dependent on it, and I get incredibly stressed if a week goes by and I don't get my mass in. This week, though, it was wonderful. After mass ended and I offered up a quick prayer asking God to not let me vomit in front of all these hip college kids, I went to the library where the class was held.
Immediately I was greeted by someone named Lindsey, and she was very nice, very outgoing, very willing to keep a conversation going. And plus, she didn't judge me for being young, she thought it was cool. So hey! I didn't get horribly judged like I expected. The rest of the class went well. Unfortunately, we did more discussing what the class structure will look like and what we'll need than learning, so that was a bummer. The highlight of the class? Father Sternberg. He is such a strange and goofy man, and he can talk for hours. He talks about random but awesome things (a nerf gun battle was included in this week's homily), but he also cares a lot about people and their relationships with God. It's going to be awesome letting him help me get closer to God, and hopefully if I go to Madison next year he can continue to do that for many years to come!
Basically, my life is going very well right now. I have many people praying for me, and I'm returning the favor. But LITs, my math homework won't finish itself, so I must go. Love you all, praying for you all.
It's been real.
Taylor
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