Where is your God?

Today, was well tough.
I went to church... my church is very liberal and non-traditonal, which is not me. I am terribly traditonal. So church was alittle difficult today... the priest had a wonderful homely about prayer and how people dont know how to pray right because they think they need the "perfect" situation. Which like my priest said, was physically impossible. You need to just do it! But anywho, after church, I read through Taylor and Alanna's blogs and I just kept wishing that I could have that moment that they had...

so Today I went shopping with my mom. And all I could think about is God. I kept asking myself what the heck I was doing at that store when I could be at home chatting it up with an LIT or two, or praying, or hanging out with my family. WHY WAS I SHOPPING FOR STUPID CLOTHES WHEN THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO REALLY NEEDED THEM RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET?! 

Surely enough, my emotions got the best of me and I asked my mom if we could leave. My mom didnt understand what was going through my head, and I feel like if I tell her, she'll tell me to get back into the real world. Which hurts... because she doesnt understand that GOD is the real world. SO, she got frustrated at me. So we paid and left the store. The drive home was silent. I walked straight up into my room and blasted "Hail Mary" on my iPod. I couldnt understand why all I wanted was to see the untangeble. I wanted to see God at that moment, I wanted him to just hug me and say its gonna be alright. Silly me and my wishing. :)

About 10 minutes after I got home, I checked my Email and saw that Taylor had written me.  She gave me a Psalm that helped her. I cant understand why God has helped me, and has given me such amazing people as the LITs. 

But this Psalm was beyond anything I could ever imagine. Not only was I thinking about it throughout the day. But right when I needed it, God gave.

Psalm 42
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"


4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.


5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My  soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.


7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.


8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.


9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"



10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"


11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43
1 Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.


2 You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?

3 Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.


4 Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.


5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God

When I first read this I was immediatly in tears. Frankly, I don't know why. All I know is that this passage, is what I was feeling today. It was everything. After reading it a few times I laughed.... God is funny. I can just see Him in heaven laughing, telling me I TOLD YOU SO!!! Just listen to me FOR ONCE!!! 

Which makes me laugh... Because no matter what God tells me, I know I run in the other direction. Which is something probably alot of people do.

We need to stop running. We need to learn and know and believe that God is the way.

Jesus said, " I am the way, the truth, and the life." John 14:6

Its crazy... how God puts things that are so simple, plain, and blunt right in front of us and we can barely see them.

Take a second, Back up from the real world. And just look. Just listen to what you may hear.





I love you.
God loves you.
Mary loves you.
I am praying for you all everyday.

Lots of love and prayers,
Michelle <3